Believe it or not, but I
have finished my book. The book that I started exactly three months
ago, on January 2. If you don't believe me and say that nobody can
write a book in three months, let me remind you that “writing” as
in putting words on screen is just the top of the iceberg. In fact it
has taken me four years. True, I have done other things in between
(another book, for instance), but from the first note to the finished
manuscript today – about four years of reading and thinking and
more reading and more thinking and more thinking...
Now that I've done it, I
am confident that I will never again want to write another book. To
begin with, I don't have to. The imminent university assessment will
be the last in my professional career. If I never write another
line, nobody will notice. I don't need more books for my merits; I
think my vanity is satisfied... No, seriously, I think I have written
enough for a lifetime, and there are so many brilliant young scholars
around.
Writing this book, I have
noticed how difficult writing has become. It used to be easy,
painless, joyful. Well, of course there were moments when it felt
horrible and hopeless, but on the whole it was a pleasurable pastime.
Now my mind is wandering away; I lose track of my own thoughts; I get
tired quickly. Go on, tell me the truth: you are old! Yes, thank you,
I know. And when you are old you don't run marathons, you don't climb
Everests, you don't cross deserts – you adjust your aspirations to your
age. So I won't write more books. I may write an article some time in
the future. But only if I can think of something really important to
share.
So you may ask, am I
retiring? Am I withdrawing from academic life altogether? Not at all.
I am looking forward to spending the rest of my professional life
doing something I like best of all: walking in the groves of
academe, surrounded by my disciples.
4 comments:
Skiver! On with the next one!
But seriously - congratulations. Now we can go for that glass of wine. And I will just have to hope that you are wrong about writing and age. Of course you are. Look at Diana Athill. Because I will starve if I can't still write books when I am a good deal older than you (and you're not old anyway).
I suspect you will write more when you have something to say. It may not be a book. Perhaps it will be an article. Or an introduction. But something will move you to take up your pen (or return to your keyboard) and write.
Hoping to be amongst the disciples in the groves...
Wow, love the part of walking in the groves of academe, surrounded by disciples. Seems I'm the second in line, and counting ;)
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