Saturday, 2 October 2010

To be continued

So J. K. has confirmed something that most of us know: it is possible to write sequels to completed sagas. And not only sequels, but prequels, sidequels and all other quels that have become so tremendously popular.

Some time before the publication of the ultimate Harry Potter volume, the largest Swedish daily asked me to comment upon the speculations whether Rowling intended to let Harry die. Ostensibly she had said that it was right to kill off the protagonist, so that nobody could write a sequel.

As if this had ever stopped literary thieves.

But it is surely more appropriate for Rowling to supply the missing bits herself. For instance, a book, or preferably several, about Harry's life before he learned that he was a wizard. Nice books about his everyday adventures with the abominable cousin. There is perhaps less suspense in everyday events than in Harry's breath-taking escapades at Hogwarts, but that should not be a problem for a skilful writer like Rowling, and genuine fans want to know everything about their idol. If it is possible to publish Scarlett's Childhood for Gone with the Wind fans, why not Harry's Childhood?

A series of at least five books can tell us about Harry's parents, especially his father's pranks of which we have seen glimpses throughout the saga. Details about his friendship and rivalry with Harry's teachers will certainly be appreciated by many readers. In this series, the erotic aspect can be developed that was lacking in the original books. Further, both Dumbledore and Snape justify a multivolume narrative.

Hermione, Ron and Ginny can have their own series each, and the Weasley twins will be popular, as literary twins always are. Unfortunately, Mergione's Mission and Sen Awesley's Twelve Deeds have already been written by an inventive Russian team, but otherwise the sky is the limit. Moreover, Hermione has the magic hourglass that allows her to be simultaneously in two places, so she can have twice as many volumes as Ron. If Harry borrows the hourglass, his seven years in school can be described all over again, in a parallel dimension.

Harry Potter's Cook Book and Harry Potter's Feng Shui will sell well, and so will The Secret Diary of Harry Potter, Aged 13 and ¾, and The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Muggle.

But the best pursuit is of course the fates of Harry's children. It turns out that just before his demise Voldemort secretly fathered a daughter who twenty years later seeks revenge. The gender aspect will give this series of twelve books a fresh and modern tone.
If this sounds too much for a lifetime, there are many models of ghost writer teams producing five books every month. These should preferably be well educated and versed in myths as well as world literature to satisfy the expectations set up by Rowling's ingenious allusions. A lucrative field for redundant professors of literature.

PS All ideas in this blog post are copyright-protected and on offer for the highest bid. Proposals below six digits will not be considered.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You made me spit coffee on my screen with laughter! Lydia